Wanted: Painting Partner
Artists know that painting partners provide a second point of view, a second source of supplies (do you have any Cad Red Light?), a second source of transportation ( the mechanic says l need a new starter either that, or a new franistanicfreen modulator), a chum when you’re going down that nature trail after that unfortunate stabbing thing, and someone to go in on the shrimp sandwiches at the SeeWee Outpost (most AWESOME shrimp sandwiches ever made, never mind that the SeeWee Outpost is a gas station with a classy name. Hhy 17 in Awendaw). So l need a painter who has no toddler children, no desperately ill elderly parents who need immediate care, who doesn’t mind getting scratched all over with BlackBerry rambles, who fears no dog, snake, nor person “off their meds” who likes shrimp. Not too much to ask.
The Scent of Sugar
If you were anywhere near children today, you could smell the high scent of Sugar. It blotted out the frankincense, the perfumes of ladies. The fat raindrops and spring winds could not quell the scent of sugar as the children waved their sticky hands through church services and family dinners. The children will smell of it until their parents and grandparents wash it away with tonight’s bath. The Scent of Sugar will end then, but not the sweetness of Easter. That goes on.
Happy Easta, Ya’ll
Oh Moses, Moses. You Adorable Fool
Anne Baxter as Nefretiri
Okay, tell the truth. How many of you watched Bible epics this weekend? I can’t go a year without watching Anne Baxter tear up the screen in those body hugging Edith Head costumes. I love everything about The Ten Commandments. The cast, the scenery, the hokiness. It’s got it all. And what ARE those dancers doing at Seti’s Jubilee celebration? Every year I watch them whip those braids around with the giant red balls on the end while doing some kind of back arch maneuver. I’m still not sure.What I am sure of is that the censors must have been on the set night and day. Those dancers are wearing the biggest and thickest granny panties under their dancing costumes I have ever seen. What are they made of? Coat felt ?
And how much mineral oil did they use lubing up Charlton Heston’s pecs? I mean, wow. Covered…
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The Demented Cockatoo
Cowlicks. I’ve got one. But my hair is very fine and curly. This crazed shock of three curls twist out from my forehead with no regard for my face, the occasion (job interview, anyone?),and scorns the efforts of hairdressers, gel and straightening irons. So enough is enough. If George Tsoukalos can go on Ancient Aliens with a whole head of Cowlicks, l can triumph over this one. So l dyed it red. So there.
Turkey Burn
You know who you are
Queen Daenaryes will not be consigned to the everlasting flames
The First Annual Turkey…
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Okay, More Info on the Turkey Burn
No. I’ m not doing this for money. If you register for the Turkey Burn, you will receive an invitation. Translated into Southern, that means free.
No. I’m not doing this for your email address or to hack any of your accounts. If you have not kept up with my blog, I have TBI due to having a brain tumor removed from my frontal lobe. Hacking is past my abilities.
Yes. You must be 21 to participate. We will imbibe gently as we watch our past mistakes incinerate.
Yes. There will be Firemen in attendance. I know how to handle a hose and pump, but I’m going to leave the heavy lifting to our great brawny men in fire hats.
Cleanse yourselves, fellow artists. Cleanse yourselves. And join in a deep fellowship that stems from shedding mistakes, fire and beer. Only 15 artists are allowed.
