Okay, tell the truth. How many of you watched Bible epics this weekend? I can’t go a year without watching Anne Baxter tear up the screen in those body hugging Edith Head costumes. I love everything about The Ten Commandments. The cast, the scenery, the hokiness. It’s got it all. And what ARE those dancers doing at Seti’s Jubilee celebration? Every year I watch them whip those braids around with the giant red balls on the end while doing some kind of back arch maneuver. I’m still not sure.What I am sure of is that the censors must have been on the set night and day. Those dancers are wearing the biggest and thickest granny panties under their dancing costumes I have ever seen. What are they made of? Coat felt ?
And how much mineral oil did they use lubing up Charlton Heston’s pecs? I mean, wow. Covered in mud and gunk and parts of his bod still shine like patent leather. MMoses, Mmoses, Mmoses, Mmmmoses.
Even the bad one’s are good. Sodom and Gomorrha bears no resemblance to the Biblical account. What? Did someone think the original story wasn’t sensational enough? Not enough sex, violence and Divine retribution? Fun for the whole family.