“Hallowed be thy Name……”
“Why?”
Isabel had taken the results of the tox screen to her psychiatrist. His eyes had widened and then asked what therapy would be recommended to restore her physical health. There was very little that anyone could do. She would have to pee the poison out and the problem would resolve itself. Of course, she could never eat or drink with her mother again. Indeed, Dr. Jubal would have preferred that Isabel have no contact at all with her mother, Robyn Sullivan.
“There is no why.”, he answered, “I could give you the clinical explanation behind your mother’s pathology, but it wouldn’t answer the why. If I told you how these people reason, it would just sound like gibberish, because you’re not insane. If you did understand her logic, I would probably recommend intensive therapy. I want you to have no contact with your mother and very little contact with the other members of your family. I’d like you to leave here if you can. Do you have a safe place you can go?”
A safe place to go. A safe place to go. A safe place to go. It sounded like the refrain of a song. Why why why banged in her brain, drowning out the soft refrain. Why why why would stay with her in the years that followed. Whenever she was alone in the car, why why why would occupy her mind.
As Isabel stepped out onto the plaza where the local Farmer’s Market was held. The smell of fat peaches and green corn husks almost knocked her flat. How was it possible to still feel pleasure in such small things when her life was coming apart at the seams? Because you are alive. Because God knows what you need.